5 Steps To Being a Great Networking Conversationalist

You only get a few seconds to make a good impression, so it’s important to make your initial few moments count. Here are five steps to making a good impression.

Don’t be shy.
There are generally two types of people that attend networking events: those that act like hosts and those that act like guests. Hosts try to connect with as many people as possible. They scan the room for wallflowers and listen in on conversations around them for an opportunity to jump in. Guests, on the other hand, act timid. They wait for someone to take their coat, show them around, and introduce them to others.

Be a host rather than a guest and don’t be shy about talking with others around you. Being a host gives you something to do - that is, help those who feel even less uncomfortable than you do to fit in and enjoy themselves.

Ask lots of questions.
It’s a myth that you need to be the center of attention to hold the focus of their conversational buddy. In fact, just the opposite is true. You’ll actually appear to be a fantastic conversationalist if you turn the focus of your conversation away from you.

There are three basic levels of business conversation.

1. Small talk - When you don’t know what to say or want to break the ice, the first thing that usually pops into your mind is to comment about the weather or the local sports team. Another tactic that can work well is to complement the person on something. Women often complement other women on their fashion accessories, though men should be careful to use that technique as it could be misconstrued.
   
   
2. Questioning - At this point, you start to ask innocent questions to learn more about the other person. It’s at this point when you ask questions about:
   • Where they’re from
   • What they do for a living - how they got started, advice they’d give to someone just starting out, upcoming trends
   • Their family - are they married? Do they have kids? Pets?
   • What they do for fun - read any interesting books? Hobbies? Favorite restaurants?
     
     
3. Finding common ground - If things go well during the questioning stage, you’ll eventually find that you share a common interest. It’s at this stage when you start to build rapport and relax. Common ground can be anything - you both decided to add a new deck to your home, traveled to Mexico last year on vacation, read the same book, decided to leave the same type of job to start your own business, or are confused about a point made in the last conference panel. If you listen and ask enough questions, there’s a good chance you can find common ground with virtually everyone you talk with.

Share as much as you can
During your conversation, look for ways you can share what you know with others. Be willing to share vendors you’ve worked with, book recommendations, or websites you find particularly helpful about the topic you’re discussing. If you’ve written an article about the topic or blogged about it on your website, offer to send it to the other person. The goal is to serve as a resource and freely give information to others. If they like the information you provide and find it valuable, there’s a good chance they’ll want you in their network. Be sure to ask for their business card to keep in touch.

Take notes
Finally, make sure to write down highlights of your conversation on their business card or in a small notebook rather than rely on your memory to keep track of all the people you talk with. Note key points of the conversation as well as anything (a) you’ve promised to send them or (b) they’ve promised to send you so you can follow up in a day or two.