Networking Is About Connecting With Others - And Not About Keeping Score

What is our network? It’s the group of people we feel comfortable sharing ideas, information, recommendations, and referrals with. Every time we communicate with someone, we form a connection with that person. Sometimes the connection is strong. Sometimes, it’s not.

Networking is something we learn at a very early stage. It’s what our parents teach us when they provide guidelines about sharing our toys, including our younger siblings, and treating others as we’d like to be treated.

It’s also about who we interact with for specific advice. Parents often have a network of friends, play group parents, and others whom they turn to whenever they need advice on when to introduce solid foods, when to potty train, how to survive the terrible twos, what to do when their child becomes ill, how to choose the right preschool, and so forth.

In business, you probably have specific coworkers you turn to when your computer crashes, you need a specific type of information, or you just want to discuss last night’s big game.

When we form strong connections with the people we meet, we want to keep in touch with them. We want to have lunch with them or send them a helpful book or article. We genuinely care whether they succeed and we want to do our part to point them in the right direction.

Networking Is About Genuinely Wanting To Help Others
The key to success in marketing is to provide as much value as you can - and then add more. People like and want to do business with others who are generous and sincerely interested in their business.

Networking is no different. The quickest way to get people to believe you are genuinely interested in their success is to give. There are all sorts of things you can give - referrals, a free guide, an article you wrote, a thank you note, an introduction. When you give, you feel good about helping others. It’s human nature to want to help others when you can.

Networking Is Not About Keeping Score
That said, too often we fall into the dark side of giving - expecting something in return. The best way to sabotage a relationship - especially one you’re taking the time to cultivate - is to keep score. Building relationships takes time. If you provide a favor or referral to someone and immediately expect something in return, chances are that you’ll be disappointed.

Networking is not a zero-sum game. You work to expand and build your network so that you build good will - and that if you ever need to tap into those resources, you can do so quickly and painlessly. If you choose who you cultivate relationships with wisely - and based on a mutual need or interest - in time, your network will repay you several times over.